Balance

I was recently told that I was admired at how I'm able to jump into things with both feet. After really thinking about that I could see how that could be. I love to be involved, I love being around people and helping out, learning new things and really it comes down to the need to feel needed.

Many times I've been asked "is there anything you can't do?" And of course there's many. There is however one thing that I wished that I could do. And that is making connections with people that have meaning. I know it's because I feel that something will happen to come between myself and that person (sure surprised that I'm married). I live feeling like at any moment my world is going to crash down around me, so if I'm busy with "things" that somehow I'll be happy because those things can still be there even if the people I really care about aren't. I know now that is not the case.

I am aware that in my family there is history of  depression...and yes everyone at some point goes through some form or another of it (whether they'll admit it or not). I haven't ever gone to be tested but  I know what I can do to help me through days that I feel a little low. I tend to find something I like, dive in and then become slightly obsessed with it for a while. Eventually even that doesn't work and I become bored with it so then it's on to something else. Running and excercise have always been a good way for me to keep balance and if I allowed myself to I could become very obsessed with that...I'd look fabulous but I know that too much of a good thing can turn into a not so good thing.  So it's finding the balance in life that allows for all those things one loves with the things one needs.

Now I suppose really I can't say that I haven't been able to make meaningful connections with people, after all I am married and have three wonderful children who come to me with their concerns and we have wonderfull heart to heart conversations.  So what is it that I'm really looking for? Should I even feel like I am missing out on something? Maybe the real need is for me to have a better connection to the one that matters most.   ...have I let there become distance between myself and my Father in Heaven?

Knowing that I am able to connect with my Father in Heaven allows me a comfort that nobody or nothing else ever can and I'm greatful for that knowledge. So I guess when asked the question "is there anything you can't do?" I should be answering no...because I know that with the connection I can have with my Father in Heaven He will help me do whatever righteous desire I have...but only with His help am I able to do so much.  It's not possible on my own, even though it may appear to others that I have done it, they just weren't able to see that I was just the puppet used by the master himself!
So I guess the fact that we all need to find a connection and feel needed comes from the pre existence where we knew more specifically the needs of others and ourselves. We have the desire within us the find it again and possibly become saddened that we've lost it while we are here on earth. But knowing that the lost can be found is the best possible thing I could ever strive to accomplish. So I'll continue to jump in and do what I can to build those connections and make life count because who doesn't what to feel needed?

Hope this puts a little smile on your face....

 

I am not  Mrs. Incredible but I'm trying and want my children to try too!